I had you exorcised, but I regret it – w4d

I had hired a priest to remove a demon from my house, as they were moving my vases around and being incredibly loud in the night. But as you left, I saw your transparent face, your gaping toothless maw and sad eyes, and knew I’d made the wrong decision. I had the priest killed in a ritual to summon you back, but had read the scripture wrong and summoned a citrus instead.

If they have internet from whence you came, I hope you can read this and come back to my home – after all, I feel that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Phone me at [REDACTED]. To prove it’s you, tell me the colour of the table you so loved to levitate.