Category Archives: help needed

??Looking for a dynasty??

ARE YOU seeking a royal family to JOIN? Look no further! DINEL’S DY?NASTIES is now OPEN and accepting interviews to join a host of PREMIUM royal families. SOULS ONLY. THANKYOU! Currently available: de Wizian: A dukedom of 5 counties across New Madoria, Duke Wizian is seeking a soul to be placed in the womb of

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*Psychic imprint of a desire for a better mode of communication*

*Psychic imprint of a desire for a better mode of communication* *An awareness… knowledge… an introduction… intimate mutual understanding… changing… becoming… living.* *A sense of familiarity… learning… * *Flashes of memory… frustration. Ostracization.* *Frustration… annoyance… unfair… sadness… longing* *Pleading. Emotional appeal* *A familiarity… yet different… looking at oneself through different lenses* *An exchange of ideas…

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Looking for a cure for my Chronophobia, preferably NOW RIGHT NOW PLEASE

Please help. I’m both a newborn baby and a senile old woman at once. Oh God, typing out that sentence took an infinity. I need help! I was supposed to have Cthulist officials help me exchange my perception of time with someone else’s today. I remember them exchanging it between one mentally old man and

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New Roommate, advice needed

Hey Y’all, Farmer Jacobs here again with some news since last we spoke. Y̴̠̘̰̼̏̀̐͝ǫ̸̛̲̯̱̙̩̱̬̫̭̜̙̪̠͊̅̓͘ũ̴̡̨̡̧̧͔̞̯̗̦̤̮͎̫̩͙̗̰̥̪̗͍̭̤̔̄̅̂͋̉͆̽͆̍̏͒̈ ̵̛͓́̃͆̅̒̀̄ş̴̢̙̬̳̹̥̭̳̊̇̇̾̽̍̑̃͛͊̂̀̃͂͝p̵̡̡̞̩͉̯͔͔̼̮̦͇̫̹͓͍͈͖̌͋ͅḛ̶̡̡̝̰͚̪̳͚̲̹͓̖̬̼̟͎̞̀́͗̓̈́̔̅͛̽͆͆̈́̕͜ä̶̧̡̲̝͈̤̮̫̰̝̫̻̝́̏̅̊̂̐̐́͊̇̔͌̇́͒̎͐͘͝͠͝ͅͅͅk̴̡̭͎̜̟̫̖̃̄̆̽́̍̌̒̍̑͑͒̂̈́͐į̷̢̢̧̗̹͇̬͔̹͈̼̺̥͓̲̠̗̠̳̭̟̦̠̗̒̅̓̐̽͐̀͊̿̊̒́̑̅̓͋̒̋́̆̚̚ͅn̴̢̛͉̮͎̟̖̤̝͎̖̤̳͋̐͌̆͌͆͜͝ğ̵̢̧͕̘̖̩͖̰͉̯͖̥͖̹͓̙̫͆̽͆́̾̀̉̚ͅ ̷̛̛̛̙͙̠̣̥̦̙̰̺̄̊̿́̃̏̅̾̑̓̒̃́̓͠ͅo̶̡̟̮͖̣̫̼̣̠̫̻͋̎͌̀͂̀͜f̷̡̱̦̲͍͓͓̙̯̭̤̰̬̤͉̓͂̈́́̔͗͊̒̎̆̈́̃̇̉͊͒̀̈̊ͅ ̴̧̗͓͓̳̠̬͚̓̃͛̓m̶̨̧̢̧̢̝̖̜͈̯̹̹͍̗̼͕͕̺͈̓̔̂ȅ̵̢̛͕̱̻̹̟̳̫̹̜̜̝͔̦̳͇̽͋͛̍͐̔͒̀̈́̇̉̾́͋͊̔̒̈̒̔̐͐̀͘̕͠͠?̸̧͕͉̪͍̩̠̻͉̯̺̖͑̍̎͌͋̊̿̃̽͋̎̏̇̇̏̾͆͋̕̕̕ Yes yes it is about you, will you stop looking over my shoulder, it’s freaking me out. Go outside or watch some tv, ok? Give me some space you darn vegetable…now where was I, ah yes, so it

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Looking: The Person I Will Exchange my Linear Perception of Time With

I live time in reverse because in less than a week I’ll exchange my linear perception of time with someone who perceives it in reverse. Future to past. I don’t yet know how I will meet them but time is running long. If you are looking for someone to exchange your reverse perception of time

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There is a Hunger.

The Hunger grows ever stronger, biting, gnawing at him. What construct of flesh and bone can satiate it? Only the Naergloan. He offers only this exchange: A memory of a picnic and the life-debt of the Dog-Child in return for the Naergloan, or best offer. [Relayed Message From R4920 by The Evergrowing Hunger]

Quantum programmer needed – dimension leak on huge website!

Don’t let this leak, or my boss will fire me, okay? I’m the IT technician for the worldwide Earth-4536 publication, The Onion. Our company has been giving the news more accurately and quickly than any other news site in our dimension, but recently we’ve found the servers have leaked and become available in the Earth-2899

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It’s us, your dads. We’re at the store.

To: All I don’t know how many of you there are out there, how many people think we’ve left you – but we haven’t. We’ve been trapped at this store for what feels like millennia. There are so many dads here, the line is infinite, eternal. I can’t remember how I got here apart from

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