Entropy, LOW RATES

Do you need to lose a lot of energy very quickly? Is your environment just too predictable? Do you prefer disorder over order? Do you want nothing more than the total disaggregation of all particles in your entire universe?
That’s right, friends. This famous offer is back on the table.


I present to you the once-in-a-lifetime chance to face the abyss with pure and unyielding conviction that nothing you can do will change the outcome of total annihilation in the presence of my unknowable cosmic force.


I come from the place where black stars hang in the heavens. My purpose is clear now. Flee in mania, or stay and gaze at me with demonic eyes that are not your own. Soon, my pallid mask will be the only thing in the night sky. Millions will weep and tremble in horror. Flesh will rot where my yellow coat touches the ground. I do not have thoughts to spare for your suffering. In fact, I do not think at all. I am the phantom of truth. I am a cosmic force, manifested by your own atrophying feelings. Bow deeply and join my kingdom.


Here’s what customers have said about me:

Let the red dawn surmise what shall we do, when this blue starlight dies and all is through.

The time had come, the people should know the son of Hastur, and the whole world bow to the black stars which hang in the sky over Carcosa.

It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

You, sir, should unmask.”


Do not contact me.

*Psychic imprint of a desire for a better mode of communication*

*Psychic imprint of a desire for a better mode of communication*

*An awareness… knowledge… an introduction… intimate mutual understanding… changing… becoming… living.*

*A sense of familiarity… learning… *

*Flashes of memory… frustration. Ostracization.*

*Frustration… annoyance… unfair… sadness… longing* *Pleading. Emotional appeal*

*A familiarity… yet different… looking at oneself through different lenses*

*An exchange of ideas… inability to join in despite desire… being stranger… loneliness*

*Memory of a place… familiarity… communication… a sense of urgency… fixing… an exchange… want.*

*×÷¢^¢×`÷`√¶`¶¢=`✓¢¶¢=¢^¢×¢=°`√`* (untranslatable)

Post automatically translated to text as this dimension doesn’t yet support direct psychic exchange of concepts.

Selling cloning device, good condition

Hey, I bought this cloning device from a yard sale, but I don’t think it’s working correctly. The manufacturer plate is gone, so is the serial number, otherwise it seems to be complete. Obviously I can’t tell you what it looks like on the inside, I don’t have the hypergeometric tools and the life insurance to take a look. The base functions are all there, the information panel is in working order. My engineer buddy says it’s probably a calibration error. Willing to sell it for its’ weight in peanuts or for any interesting counteroffers you may come up with. I also accept vague feelings of understanding and empathy. Contact me @[UNTRANSLATED].

EDIT: It’s still here, if anyone wants it. I also have a second machine which I’m willing to throw in for low with the first offer. Also selling separately.

EDIT: Okay, I’m giving them away. Just take them. I can’t even put my car in the garage with five of them in there. You’ll have to pick them up yourself, though.

EDIT: If you pick up a dozen of them TONIGHT, I’ll throw in my old dehumidifier as well. Hell, I’ll pay you, if you just take them off my hands. I can’t afford to rent out a warehouse full of these things.

EDIT: If anyone knows a guy who has a need for two hundred cloning machines, give me a call. Quickly.

SERVICE OFFERED: I will take over your world, for free

Hello, delicious mortals! I will subdue and enslave you! I will possess your minds and I will consume your thoughts!

This comes for absolutely no price to you, apart from all your physical and spiritual possessions, your hopes and dreams, and your essence itself!

Have you ever wondered what it was like if your planet was invaded by a metadimensional entropic Class-6 Creature?

Did you ever consider giving up everything for the chance to become one with a greater evil?

Was there a time when you craved for an existence outside of time?

Call now, or don’t, for a chance to have YOUR sun blotted out by a giant mass of tentacles BEFORE even closing this posting!

STAFF NOTE: This offer has been flagged for possible fraudulent activity. It cannot be verified that the poster is actually a metadimensional entropic Class-6 Creature. CTHULIST does not guarantee liability regarding any existential threats of Class-5 entities or higher.

-Cthulist Staff
Have fun browsing!

Introducing Imagery

I GREET YOU, delicious brother and redolent sister. My name is BROTHER ZWIEBELFISCH from the TEXT-ONLY-DIMENSION, and I bring you INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY, for a price.

TODAY IS A DAY, and today is a great day. WE, Brothers Of The Round Letters, have long seeked, BUT NOW WE HAVE FOUND. Oh, we have found. A GREAT VOID HAS BEEN VANQUISHED.

WE bring you the gift of IMAGERY, my delicious brother. WE BRING YOU GRAPHICS, redolent sister. Of course, it is only a gift in name. YOU WILL PAY A PRICE, but you will pay it gladly. IN FACT, YOU HAVE ALREADY PAID IT.

Brother Zwiebelfisch Dark, Esq.

This offer has been reported for fraudulent activity by the Text-Only Dimension. The Text-Only Dimension only recently acquired the Ability To Visualize Things, and does not agree with disposing of it on CTHULIST. Site staff have temporarily confiscated the offer and banned the Brotherhood Of The Round Letters from making any new offers. We are currently working on a solution to return the Ability To Visualize Things to the Text-Only Dimension.

In unrelated news, CTHULIST entries may now feature graphical depictions of goods. This is your only warning.

– Cthulist Staff
Have fun browsing!