Category Archives: for sale

Evil Lairs for Sale.

I get it. You’re an aspiring villain and you need somewhere to set up shop for your megalomaniacal intentions. I own a whole host of deserted islands, abandoned buildings and megacorporate office buildings. Devious Realty is your agent to a better (or worse) tomorrow, one with YOU at the top of the food chain. I

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Coffee Cup with a crack in it

I’m selling my prized coffee cup after it’s developed a crack in it. Now, ordinarily I’d just throw the thing away and order a replacement, but it’s not a regular crack. I’ve glimpsed what lies beyond, and I can’t say I’m that fussed about it. If you’re an expert Lovecraftologist you’d be able to determine

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Impossible NFTs!!!! Here!! Now!!

be in a dark room use a portable device on lowest brightness view this exclusive NFT shake your device around let the image engulf you you are now part of the blockchain it surrounds you bliss this newly minted NFT, titled THE EGO OF ETERNITY could be yours for the low low price of your

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??Looking for a dynasty??

ARE YOU seeking a royal family to JOIN? Look no further! DINEL’S DY?NASTIES is now OPEN and accepting interviews to join a host of PREMIUM royal families. SOULS ONLY. THANKYOU! Currently available: de Wizian: A dukedom of 5 counties across New Madoria, Duke Wizian is seeking a soul to be placed in the womb of

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Entropy, LOW RATES

Do you need to lose a lot of energy very quickly? Is your environment just too predictable? Do you prefer disorder over order? Do you want nothing more than the total disaggregation of all particles in your entire universe? That’s right, friends. This famous offer is back on the table.   I present to you

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Selling cloning device, good condition

Hey, I bought this cloning device from a yard sale, but I don’t think it’s working correctly. The manufacturer plate is gone, so is the serial number, otherwise it seems to be complete. Obviously I can’t tell you what it looks like on the inside, I don’t have the hypergeometric tools and the life insurance

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Ideal Villainous Lair, Invisible* Top Half!

This beautiful building located at ██████ in █████ is for sale by Dajexeterex & Associates for a low price of fifteen quantum particles with measured velocity and position! This building features a beautiful stone front with slavecrafted pillars and a foreboding atmosphere on the bottom half, and an invisible* upper half, perfect for all your

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Numbers, Numbers, Numbers

Claim your own number today, good sapients. We at the Incremental Foundation of Counting are selling every number. Competitive pricing, you will pay only one squanderheart per number. Each number ships with a certificate of authenticity, you know what you’re getting. Professional number-crunching available if required. For a limited time we are offering a special

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Fountain of Drought

I recently purchased a new estate and found a delightful rococo style fountain on the property, decorated with symbols of drought deities. It has the most lovely design, and a really masterfully planned water display. I need to get rid of it for personal health reasons. It doesn’t require any hookup to water supplies, it

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[UPDATE] Mambos No. 1 to 4

Not a listing, but a strange update. Lou Bega announced recently in an interview about the origin of Mambos number 1 to 4, which sound like complete tripe to me.   He came up with some excuse that it was representing the five continents, which is a big stretch to say the least, but a

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[CHEAP] Rectified 5-Orthoplex Couch

Selling a rectified 5-orthoplex couch, exists in five dimensions. Inherited it from my aunt who got busted for selling metaphysical experiences in R2722. Fits three fifth dimensional beings, four fourth dimensional beings, and causes spontaneous annihilation in three dimensional beings. Made of fine oxbeetle fur, prime quality. Slight damage on the second hyperplane from trying

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SEEKING!!! Recipe Book of Forgotten Eternities

Hi y’all, Looking for a recipe book that instructs on how to create universes from scratch. I’ve only found programming examples (NOT what I’m asking for, I’m not good with computers) or theological prayer books. BUT I will pay a good price because I want to get this done A S A P please! There’s

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Murder of Ravens

Looking to rehome murder of ravens. Used in the past for debt collection and harassing restaurants that don’t deliver on time. Three of the six hundred are well-capable of basic speech but can’t be expected to shut up. One enjoys dad-jokes. Will trade for vintage Rolodex of demons-for-hire or a soul-weighing station. Don’t worry about

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FOR SALE: Calendar that only tells you what happened in the past on today.

I have a calendar for sale that’s a bit quirky, got it from a trivia enthusiast. It only tells you historic events in the current universe that happened on this day and requires you figure out what the date is based on that. I suck at trivia, so I’m selling it. Q: How hard are

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Chanting Pumpkins, Help Wanted

Hey Y’all, Farmer Jacobs here, I most certainly hope this is the correct part of the interwebs to be posting this, but the darndest thing went on in my pumpkin patch last night. At the stroke of midnight i was awoken by a strange chanting, so naturally I grabbed my shotgun, pulled on my overalls

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Selling Tincture and Lapidary shop

I’m looking for options in selling my established and profitable tincture and lapidary workshop – we’re established and successful within our Alabama and Georgia area. I’m wanting to sell as-is and in-place, including all of my hardware like the two-liter electric alembic pot, hoarfrost condenser, and our fifty gallon rock tumbler, the latter which is

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