Coffee Cup with a crack in it

I’m selling my prized coffee cup after it’s developed a crack in it. Now, ordinarily I’d just throw the thing away and order a replacement, but it’s not a regular crack.

I’ve glimpsed what lies beyond, and I can’t say I’m that fussed about it. If you’re an expert Lovecraftologist you’d be able to determine what kind of coffee-mug-sized abyssal horrors lie within the tear in reality, and maybe even extract a Bargain or two from them before the rift destabilizes and eliminates the neighborhood. I’ve dabbled in demon deals, but I’m no master by any sense of the word.

I’m fairly sure this came about because the cup itself is an anomaly, since it also turns any liquid you put into it into coffee. Really, really good coffee, made just how you like it. Yes, any liquid (except perhaps Universal Solvent).

My leading theory is that it’s pulling coffee from some kind of dimension where everything is coffee, and it’s always delicious. The development of the crack means I’m unsure if it still works – I’m rather hesitant to use it with the crack in it.

Oh, if you know how to repair reality tears instead, I’ll happily pay you for the trouble. It’s my favorite mug after all.

If you’re looking to buy it, I’ll pay barter with you – I have bag of galaxy marbles, mint condition.

No lowballs please, it’s a GOOD mug.

Call me on [REDACTED]