[m4l] Someone to fill the void

I’m looking for a partner who can make my life complete. For the past 5 eons, half of my body has been devoured by a Chaos Portal, rendering that half an empty void.

I need someone to be my legs. Not metaphorically, either. You can be anyone, anything, or anywhere (some exceptions), I just need free access to your legs at all times so I can continue my life.

The portal is closed and yet still present, so there is some risk involved in that these legs may disappear at any point. Probably not though.

No slugs, snails, or otherwise leg-deficient species accepted. Ideally you will be bipedal, unless it is easy to balance. Legs begin from the hips downwards. Humans preferred but at this point I’m desperate.

Call me urgently on [PURGED] for more information.