SELLING ADJUSTABLE MONSTER TRAP

GREETINGS! I AM DESIGNATED HUNTER B3-6N-02P, SON OF RENOWNED MONSTER HUNTER Y6-0I-01P. THOUGH OLD AND OBSOLETE TO ME, HIS ALL-PURPOSE MONSTER TRAP MAY BE A GOOD FIT FOR ASPIRING AND AMATEUR MONSTER HUNTERS. IT HAS BEEN MAINTAINED EXCELLENTLY OVER THE YEARS, AND FUNCTIONS JUST AS WELL AS IT DID TWO CENTURIES AGO. IT IS CAPABLE OF OF CHANGING SHAPE AND FUNCTION TO FIT THE REQUIREMENTS TO TRAP PRIORITY 10 THROUGH 6 MONSTERS OF ANY SIZE. IN FACT, I WAS EVEN ABLE TO TRAP MY MOTHER IN LAW, WHOSE DANGER LEVEL CHANGES EVERY DAY.

THIS TRAP WAS PURCHASED FOR TWO PIGS AND A GOATS HEART MANY YEARS AGO, BUT I AM WILLING TO PART WITH IT FOR JUST 300 USD. PLEASE CONTACT IF INTERESTED.

(I was supposed to type in all caps, yeah?)

(Well, no, not really. You just type the designations in all caps.)

(Oh fuck. Fuck, I’m sorry.)

(Hey, don’t worry about it! Maybe it’ll be more eye catching this way, haha.)

(….)

(Aw, lighten up. I’ll fix it in the morning.)

(Thank you. Oh, and please don’t show this conversation to anyone. PLEASE.)

(I won’t. I promise.)

(Ok, good.)