Mind controlling baby chicken for sale. CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP!

I’ve recently come into possession of a three-eyed chick, which I’m pretty sure was put in my garden as a prank from the Martians. Anyway, it CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP can take control of my mind for a few seconds at a time, but it doesn’t CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP know English, so it kind of just makes chick noises. It clearly understands how phonemes work, since it can CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP make me write its noises in onomatopoeias, but I’m no biologist, what do I know?

Anyway, it might get more powerful as it ages, you might be able to get its powers if you eat it, whatever. Nonetheless, I want CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP it gone. Any price, I’ll give it for free. Call me at [REDACTED], but only on a new moon – the chick’s third eye seems to close then and I get control over my body.