Looking for expert bigfoot wrangler…

Hey so first off, there’s a lot of bigfoots out there and any bigfoot wrangler will just scoff and say “this is easy, easy money”. Well, my bigfoot is different.

If you want to deal with the 500 pound bigfoot in my garage, I want you over here. Not only is it covered in a thick, blade-proof hair all over, it also seems to be incredibly amorous and I hate it. I can’t even look into my garage without it giving me the eyes.

Seduce it, kill it, do whatever – I just want it out of my garage as fast as possible so I can use my home gym again. It’s imprinted on me so it howls and hollers when it hears my car come in the driveway.

In fact, it might be ideal to rehome it, it’ll probably miss me when you take it.

I don’t care. I want it out. My son brought it home as a baby and now he’s left for college, so I’m stuck with it.

My details are [EXPUNGED]. Please contact me.

5 responses, 1 accepted